Wish i was dead right now

Halloween is right around the corner. It’s the scariest time of the year (apart from getting electricity bill), but it’s also funny so here’s a list of hilarious tweets to entertain you while you try to come up with a clever...

Hi, my name is Donald, the legitimate President of the United States.Was looking in the mirror this morning, and what I saw shocked me.I noticed a bit of grey hair along the root line. I paid my stylist big bucksless than a week...

hm, that pun does not work in German as we have separate words for:I know little about atoms: wenigAtoms are little: klein 1 1

Hi, my name is Donald, the legitimate President of the United States.Well folks I’m still up north doing amazing work. Being around northernpeople is a big relief. Not to complain, but there are really a lot of crazy,and deranged...

Hi, my name is Donald, the legitimate President of the United States.Doing a few rallies, but gotta admit, not a lot of donations coming myway.I learned a new word yesterday, “Moi” pretty impressive. I will startinserting “Moi”...

Religion doesn’t belong in a work place. Don’t matter if it is islam, christendom, buddhism, jewdom, the spaghetti monster, or animephilia or what ever. Leave your fantasy god(s) at home, they won’t help you shovelling coal...

Hi, my name is Donald, the legitimate President of the United States.Friday, finally what a week. May have to throw one of my kids underthe bus. Probably the girl, she has a rich husband who can afford thelawyer fees. (just been...

Holy Crap! I worked with Dr. Bob at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute. Good times, the Charitable arm had unloaded all the warplane and missile holdings so we scientists had to dump cash FAST. Need an Atomic Absorption...