Battery Puns Are The Best Puns

Hi, my name is Donald, the legitimate President of the United States.
Was looking in the mirror this morning, and what I saw shocked me.
I noticed a bit of grey hair along the root line. I paid my stylist big bucks
less than a week ago to touch up my hair. She obviously missed a few
spots. I feel like a fool standing up in front of thousands of people at
the recent rallies. No wonder people were steaming out of the last
rally. My image as a dapper don was damaged. My first instinct was
to fire this lady so I immediately called her on the phone and let her
hear those magic words, “You’re fired”. That made me feel better.
CNN is in my cross hair also, l signed off the other day to sue them
for 465 million bucks for slander.
Firing and suing are two of my favorite things to do. I will probably
never ever forget this hair incident, but will soldier on.
Gotta go, someone just rang the door bell.